I started complaining to my family and my doctor that I was constantly tired. All I wanted to do was sleep. I was 14. He tested my iron levels and several other levels but they all came back negative. I just kept pushing forward. I napped constantly and my sleep patterns were all crazy. Every other year or so, I'd go back for tests and it always came back negative.
High school passed, University passed and I still felt exhausted.
Then on one random day in November, just months after my mom passed away, I fainted at work and smacked my head on the floor. Off to the E.R. I went. From there, a miracle happened.
I did a cat scan of my head. There was an abnormality in my scan. It should be super scary, especially since one genius doctor mentioned a tumor, but I didn't let it worry me. Actually, I was incredibly nervous. I had just buried my mother who lost her battle to cancer so I was petrified. An MRI was scheduled and I waited (im)patiently for the results.
"You have lesions on your brain."
What? What did that mean? The lesions are a sign of MS but a diagnosis was a still a while away. I was devastated. I needed answers. I didn't know where to turn. I had an incredible support system but it didn't help to ease the worry.
"Don't google! If you need more information, go on MSsociety.ca. Google will only show you the worse case scenario so don't do it." I didn't google like crazy, well just a little. My neurologist was right. BAD IDEA! The MS Society of Canada website was all I needed.
So now I waited. I needed actually symptoms to confirm a diagnosis. They hit me hard. I had intense shoulder spasms, a tightness in my torso that felt like "perma-spanx", limited use of my left hand and heavy legs. Here we go. Next came several MRIs, a round of Steroids, a visit to the MS Clinic to discuss a medicinal course. Inject myself with a needle everyday? It was overwhelming but worth it. I had an official answer. That's all that mattered.
It's been a tough battle. A really bad roller coaster ride. I have ups and downs. I spend days in bed. I spend nights awake. I have moments when I feel like I can conquer the world. I have moments when I want the world to go away. That's life in general for everybody isn't it?
I will survive. I will thrive. MS is not a death sentence.
"You have lesions on your brain."
What? What did that mean? The lesions are a sign of MS but a diagnosis was a still a while away. I was devastated. I needed answers. I didn't know where to turn. I had an incredible support system but it didn't help to ease the worry.
"Don't google! If you need more information, go on MSsociety.ca. Google will only show you the worse case scenario so don't do it." I didn't google like crazy, well just a little. My neurologist was right. BAD IDEA! The MS Society of Canada website was all I needed.
So now I waited. I needed actually symptoms to confirm a diagnosis. They hit me hard. I had intense shoulder spasms, a tightness in my torso that felt like "perma-spanx", limited use of my left hand and heavy legs. Here we go. Next came several MRIs, a round of Steroids, a visit to the MS Clinic to discuss a medicinal course. Inject myself with a needle everyday? It was overwhelming but worth it. I had an official answer. That's all that mattered.
It's been a tough battle. A really bad roller coaster ride. I have ups and downs. I spend days in bed. I spend nights awake. I have moments when I feel like I can conquer the world. I have moments when I want the world to go away. That's life in general for everybody isn't it?
I will survive. I will thrive. MS is not a death sentence.
